i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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