took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
