last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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