Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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