this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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