I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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