You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
