so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
