I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Church boner. Awkwardddd
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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