Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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