I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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