We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
