This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
