whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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