I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
