well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
