Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
