so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
