It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
