I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize