every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
