I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
