I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
