i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize