she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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