Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Quick, to the slutcave!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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