you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
