just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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