Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
