Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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