Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
