he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
