Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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