We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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