Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
