OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
