I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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