I hate your face
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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