apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize