You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
