She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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