went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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