Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
