My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
