I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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