Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize