I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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