Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
