I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
