I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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