please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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