Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
