just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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