3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
