this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
