Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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