Will you blow on my dice?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
