omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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