Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
