he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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