Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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