is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
