so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize