I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
