are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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